Morning Mace

Just a quick little story from my wacky life to start your day. It all started simply enough with our morning staff meeting. Like with most companies and work groups, It helps us a great deal to meet first thing in the morning to sort out who is doing what, which projects will go to which people and coordinate timelines. Every one in the business world knows the drill.. but this meeting had an abrupt turn of events!

Once we finish all the normal business, the manager always asks "Are the any By-The-Ways". This is where we bring up any time off requests, last minute changes in schedule, or just random things the whole group needs (or doesn't need) to know. And today.. we were all just a bit wacky, a little out of our minds. It's been a busy week, we have all been hitting the deadlines and working hard. This left us really loopy and very giggly. As simple questions were asked, the barbs and jokes would fly from someone in the room, sending us all into fits of laughter.

Then one of my co-workers, who is just one of the nicest people, cracked about her actually being a criminal and having a record, the thought of which sent us all into a hysterical fit (you just had to be there) but suddenly a light came on above another co-workers head. She immediately started digging through her purse and exclaimed "That reminds me! I have been meaning to ask you all something!" She then proceeds to pull a can of Mace out of her purse. Still laughing uncontrollably about the previous joke, we looked up to hear our manager state in his laughing, but trying to control himself voice "What is that?! Don't you know that stuff is illegal?! (which only got us laughing harder.. the thought of our co-worker with her Mace in her purse)

Then she replied "Really? I have just had this in my purse for years and I don't know if it still works. How do I find out?"

Now came the problem... as we had all been laughing so hard, another co-worker didn't fully understand what she was holding, or the true question. She simply saw it as a generic aerosol can. So she grabbed it and said "That's simple! You just press down here." PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH! Out spays Mace.

Now for those who may not know. Let's look up the official definition of Mace, the wonder spray once used by women everwhere for self defense: "a chemical compound, prepared for use in aerosol containers, that has the combined effect of a tear gas and a nerve gas, temporarily stunning its victims".  Yup.. we effectively tear gassed ourselves at our own staff meeting. Nice!

Most of us were still laughing out loud over the previous jokes, as well as this sudden and completely random turn of events, while also saying to ourselves "wait, did that just happen as I saw it?" This laughter and shock mechanism managed to delay what should have been our "drop to the floor and cover yout face" reaction and instead, we all just sat there laughing, thinking "wait... what?!". That's when the Mace fumes actually hit us like a ton of bricks.

Fast forward 10 seconds and the whole scene changed. People were running out of the room, mouths covered, coughing like crazy, people crawled under the table to escape the room. Out  into the hall we all poured, some coughing most still laughing. Eyes were watering, tongues stung... nasty stuff.

After I had a chance to collect myself, make sure everyone was ok and there were no serious problems (as I didn't really want to explain to my own wife, the campus health and safety manager, what had happened) I had to figure out what to do. This was a unique situation.. one that called for an attention getting response. So what did I do? I decided to create a public service campaign, to keep us safe for the next time, by making a series of "demotivational posters" to commemorate the event.  The following are actually hanging in or break room, as a constant reminder:

I'm sure my co-workers appreciate it!

Growing up Calvin: The Hot Tub

One thing to know about me… I LOVE hot water, always have! For me, it is the ultimate of relaxation, to just sit back, chill out, and just melt into a large tank of hot water. I seriously think it triggers creativity in my brain as I tend to get some of my best, most creative solutions to things while taking a long soak. A few years back, while doing a video shoot down in Orlando, I remember pacing back and forth in my hotel room, trying to come up with an idea that would connect my whole project together, and nothing was coming to my brain. Finally I gave up and decided to head to the hotel's hot tub for a soak. As soon as I hit that water, it was as if all my creative answers suddenly awakened in my mind and I had new direction.

Even as a kid, a hot tub was the ultimate thing for me… but finding one to get in was quite the challenge. And let me clarify here.. when I say "hot tub" I don't mean a bath tub filled with hot water. Sure, that can be a nice way to relax, but I am talking about full fledged big tubs of hot water, with room to maneuver, with lots of air jets to relax your muscles, sitting outside in the cold, giving you that perfect balance of melting hot in the water, and freezing cold outside for anything not wet. Some friends of ours, a 45 minute drive away, had a hot tub that we'd go to on occasion, and we'd take family trips to Glenwood Springs from time to time. But other than that, I was "hot tub" deprived. I finally decided that when I grew up and became successful, I would know that I had achieved greatness when I had my own deck and my own large hot tub sitting outside of my home. I have yet to get there.. but I can keep dreaming, right?

Glenwood Springs Hot Spring, Colorado, 1985

And so, what does a deprived, creative Calvin-like child do, when he is forced to go without his precious hot tub time that he is oh so craving? Simple.. he looks around, and finds a simple solution.

This takes me back to one spring Saturday morning, somewhere in my middle school years of life. As always.. I was bored, my parents were gone to the temple for the day, and my sister and I were home alone (dangerous combination). Suddenly I decided that what we really needed was a hot tub and I was in the mood for a good soak. Sure, there was the whole issue of us not having one, but that didn't stop me. First I needed a list of what a hot tub was, and what its requirements would be. A. It had to be a large body of water, that I could submerge myself in. B. It had to be hot of course, and C. It had to be outside. Sure, I could have just gone and filled up my tub in the bathroom, but that didn't really count. That wasn't a true hot tub. Then there was the matter of the bubble jets, but coming up with a solution for that seemed secondary to just getting a hot tub built.

So, first I needed a container: A big container, capable of holding large amounts of water. I searched the house and only could find one possible solution: my dad had these huge metal barrels out in the drive way that were used to store the family's trash. Yup.. the trash can. Upon opening up the heavy metal lid, there was a horrid odor that hit my nose, but that was just a detail. I carefully removed all the trash from the can, and then grabbed the dish soap and hose and preceded to carefully scrub the can out. Not an easy job, what with years of trash scum coating the sides and bottom of the can, but with some scrubbing with my mom's dish scrubber, it all seemed to come off, at least enough anyway.

After a few minutes of tough scrubbing (I don't remember it taking too long) I maneuvered the can into a flat, level part of the dirt driveway. Now, it just needed water, and HOT water. And so the long tedious process began. I would go into the house, and put every pot I could find on the stove and fill all of them with hot water, heating the water to a boil. In addition, I had cups of water heating in the microwave, and then I'd also start lugging the hot water from the water tap inside in buckets, out to the my barrel in the drive way.

As you can imagine, this took awhile. The biggest challenge was keeping the water hot when it was sitting in the outside Colorado air. So maybe this wouldn't be a "hot" tub by the time it was done, but a warm tub. But still a good endeavor.

At last, my hot tub was complete. All that was left was to hop in my swimming suit, and hoist myself into my hot tub (My sister declined the invitation… go figure). Sure, it took some work, getting into the barrel, there was no ladder, or anything else for that matter that could be rigged up to help me, but I wasn't going to let this stop me. And eventually, there I was, sitting in my hot tub. Mission Accomplished.  Sure, it stunk to high heaven.. years worth of trash build up could not be totally washed off the sides. And then when heated up with lots of hot water… there was a certain odor to it (I wont mention all the "floaties". But I actually made a hot tub for myself!

Now, what goes through your parent's mind when they have just spent a nice morning at the temple, drive home only to find their son sitting in the drive way, soaking in their large trash can, now filled with steaming water (Let alone all the pots and pans in the kitchen from boiling water, and buckets strewn about). Somehow I don't remember them being too pleased that I had pulled this off, and not nearly as enthusiastic about my creative problem solving as I seemed to be. All I remember is once they drove by me, with their collective looks of shock and horror, they didn't let me stay in there very long (maybe 10 seconds). But to me, I had pulled off a great feat. I decided I wanted a hot tub, had none, but came up with a creative solution that gave me the desired end result, without the cost involved.

Interesting to me side note: I found it incredibly frustrating that my folks waited until AFTER I grew up, moved out and moved across the country to then put in a hot tub…. Grrrrrrrr.

Although I look back on that story, (being able to see things from my parents point of view) I can get just a bit disgusted (I was sitting in trash water.. what they heck was I thinking!!!!!) that skill that I practiced that day, has served me very well over the years as a media producer. How many times have I looked at camera shots on tv, said to myself "Ohhh… I have to do something like that", looked at the technology only to discover that it would costs tens of thousands of dollars to buy the camera rigs, then figured out how to pull it off, with the same results using parts obtained from perusing garage sales and thrift stores and a little engineering. I even did a blog post on this art back in 2008, read it here.

So while the story is admittedly gross (and totally Calvin-like), this one I can at least pull the life lesson from. Now off to find a hot tub.. I could use a good soak!

The Lost Link

 A quick post today, just to share this article written by Carlton Cuse for today's New York Times, as it is something that I really connected with.

First, I am in no way comparing myself to Carlton Cuse, Executive Producer of Lost. He has obtained a level of success with Lost over the years that I could only dream of as a media producer. He helped to create an AMAZING show that captured my imagination and kept me captivated for years. (Yes, I even loved the finale last spring!!!) I just create small audience films, nothing mainstream.

But as a creative person, whether you are creating a major world-wide TV show, or a small little film that is watched by 100 people, tackling a large project that you are personally inspired by, competing that project and then sitting back and going "Now what?" is a common feeling. Its a feeling I could identify with well.

So, if you have a minute and would like to explore what happens in the mind of creative folk after a large project, this could be an interesting read. It was for me, as it showed me that whether you are working on big time successes, or small little projects, the creative roller coaster of a mental process is still the same.

Thanks Carlton, for being a creative inspiration and giving me 6 great years of Lost! Best of luck in your future endeavors!

Click here to read the article

2010: At A Glance

A quick note today… Just to kick my new blogging habits off. Typically when I go for a long time without maintaining my blog, I try to do a big post to catch everyone up on what is going on in life and show how busy things have been for us. This was my original plan for this post. But when I started writing, I realized… I just barely did all this, when I typed up the family Christmas letter just a few weeks ago. So, rather than rewording that letter, or posting the text, I am simply going to add a link here and if you would like you can download a copy of our annual newsletter and read about the many things we are doing.

Click here to download the PDF

In addition, You can actually watch all of our various activities in my 2010 recap video that I do each year. Because this is something that is just for my family and our own memories, I do use normal music in these videos, something that Youtube frowns upon, so I have it stored on my own server. Rather than having the nice embedded video right on the blog you will have to click to see it, but its a fun way to catch up with all of our various events through the year.

Click here to watch the 2010 video recap

It was a busy 2010.. And with any luck, 2011 will be busy too! I don't like to be bored or have nothing to do!! Something tells me, there wont be a problem!

The Better Record

Last week in my seminary class, I presented an interesting lesson. The topic of the day was D&C section 69, where John Whitmer was commanded to begin keeping a record of the history of the church. We discussed the importance of keeping records and the fact that the Lord commands us to keep our own personal records of our lives. Not just the day to day events, but our stories, our feelings and everything that makes us who we are.

I then tied the subject back into 3 Nephi from last year and a little story that is quite amusing to me. Its a tiny little story, but to me, it says a lot. Its in 3 Nephi 23: 7 - 14. Whats happening here is that the Resurrected Christ is visiting the people in Central America, teaching them. He called out to his prophet Nephi and asked him to bring him the record kept up until that time. Nephi did as he was asked. Christ looked through it and discovered that some of the things that he had asked him to write, had not been written down. Then comes the very simple, but profound verse 12 "And it came to pass that Nephi remembered that this thing had not been written."

DOH! What is going through Nephi's mind at that moment?! Christ, the Lord, had asked him to do something and he suddenly realized he had not bothered to do it. That can't be a good thing. And what do you say? "Uhhhhh… sorry, I got distracted there…" That's just not a fun place to find yourself in.

So that brings us back to today. We have been asked by the Lord to keep our own personal records. At some point the Second Coming will take place, and the Lord will return to the Earth. And when he comes to me and says "Remember that personal record that I asked you to keep? Where is that, I'd like to see it," what exactly am I going to say? "Ummmmmm…. yeah, sorry I got so busy editing DVDs that I kind of stopped writing". "Ummmmmm, I was really busy.." That's just not going to fly and I am going to have the same realization that Nephi did.

And so, as the teacher of this class, I can't be a hypocrite.. I can't expect my class to seriously get on the keeping of their records if I am not willing to do the same. I need to lead and set the example or I can't expect them to follow. So I am committing here and now, to keep my record, in the form of my blog, more current. There are so many stories that I keep planning on telling, many events that Facebook and Twitters little update tabs can't contain. I need to stop making excuses and get back to writing. And so I will.

2011 will be a good year at Calvin's Cosmos. That's my commitment, so check back often.

As Darth Vader says on the Robot Chicken parody… "I'm bringing it back!!!"

It's my record… and it needs to be better!

Making the Trek

I know, I seem to go months without posting. But.. (you can all quote along in unision) I have been busy! One of the things that has occupied my summer was planning for, attending, filming and then releasing DVDs for our stake youth trek. Dawn and I were asked last summer if we would be on the planning committee for the trek, with our responsibilities to film the event and release a DVD to all who attended.

It was an exciting prospect.. to do another "non sports" related film, especially one where I could get my work and vision for filmmaking out to a much larger group of people. And so the long planning process began, which meant many technical things had to be thought out, and new gear purchased. We had to add a new camera to the arsenal, many new batteries (so that we could film all day without recharging), bags that would provide the right support for the conditions, and dozens of tapes. We also had to ask all the right questions such as "what do we do if it rains with all this technical gear in the middle of no where?! How do we communicate to coordinate event cues, what kind of gear needs to be set up as base camp (where we were sleeping at night and coordinating the gear). It was a huge creative and logistical challenge, but one that was well worth all the effort.

The planning year went by fast, and before we knew it, our van full of cameras was headed toward eastern Washington to set up shop. The next morning, the youth arrived and the Trek began. And what an amazing experience this was for us. Yes.. it was tough. Walking over 10 miles each day, doing possible triple miles from what the regular youth were doing as we ran back and forth filming various shots, up hills, whatever we had to do to be in the right place at the right time. Both Dawn and I had cameras going filming different groups and vantage points so that the full story could be told. We even got to watch our own son Tyler struggle in agony when he bent over to grab his water bottle, slipped and had his foot run over by a 500 pound fully loaded hand cart, breaking one of his toes. He worried the doctors may pull him off the trek, but he bucked up, stayed strong, and was an inspiration to many as he helped pull 20 hand carts up a steep ravine just a few hours later, broken toe and all.

Between the perfect weather, the costuming, the great food, the challenge of the trek and the MANY MANY spiritual experiences along the way, this was a trip to remember: A trip that, while it had its challenges, I would leave to do it again tomorrow in a heartbeat. What an amazing journey it was.

As for the video.. I was very pleased with how it turned out as well! While there were some hiccups in the production, the issues were things that only Dawn and I would notice in the final version. And we did what seemed almost impossible: Just 6 weeks after the event, we had the full 90 minute documentary film produced, DVDs duplicated and several hundred copies ready for every kid that went on the trek.

Since the message of our trek is one that we hope to share with the world, both so people can see what we experienced and hopefully other stakes can learn from our successes in pulling off a great trek, I have put the entire video online, in 6 chunks. If you would like a DVD copy, feel free to e-mail or contact me and I'd be glad to get you one. DVDs also include a montage of the entire trek and a bonus feature called "Behind the Trek" detailing the behind the scenes efforts and the logistics of how we pulled it off. So sit back and enjoy.. our 2010 trek experience:

April Fools... May Therapy

What's that old saying? Ah yes, I believe its "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." That phrase seems to be coming to mind a lot as we enter the month of April and one of my favorite days: April Fools Day. Now, I tend to be known as somewhat of a prankster, the kind of guy that thrives on a good practical joke, immature or otherwise. But the problem is, I seem to have a history of good jokes that somehow manage to backfire in their execution, causing panic, fear and internal scarring, rather than the intended laughter. I have good intentions… give people a fun joke to remember, but something always seems to go wrong. (Or I am just evil… as I keep telling my kids.) Remember this incident?

Several days ago, Little Calvin came to me with one of the worst things he could say.. "Dad, I am unprankable this year.. you just can't get me on April Fools Day." I'm, sorry Son, that's a CHALLENGE… and a creative challenge which I thrive on. I suddenly had a mission to prove him wrong, and give him an April Fools day to remember! Now, the child is 9, which means I don't have to go over-the-top in my planning. All those stereotypical, immature, fun pranks of my youth were coming in handy. I seran-wrapped his toilet, put food coloring in his breakfast milk to make it look disgusting as he poured it, loaded his school backpack with giant, heavy books so he could barely lift it, and flipped his computer desktop upside down, and short sheeted his bed (which he'll discover later).

But just as I was finishing my set up, I suddenly had a fun idea: buried deep in his closet from many years ago, were some Star Wars full sized cardboard cutouts, one of which was Princess Leia holding a blaster out as if she were shooting you. I thought it would be humorous to stick this in the hallway so that as he came around the corner, he'd see it, jump a little, then laugh because it was a Star Wars character. All innocent fun, right?

As it turned out, when this morning came, I had left early to go teach my seminary class. My wife yelled from the kitchen for him to get up and start getting ready for school. He complied and got up without turning the lights on. As he came around the corner, bleary eyed and not at all focused on reality, all he saw was a person at the end of the dark hallway, dark and ominous, aiming a gun at him. Obviously, he went into panic mode, and when my wife got out of the shower and came to check on his progress, he was huddled in the corner sobbing giant tears and scared out of his mind. It took her 30 minutes to get him calmed down enough to begin his day.

When the phone call came in to me from my very frustrated wife, and her message that I should not mess with someones deepest, darkest fears (having a bad person in the house is one of Little Calvin's) I felt horrible. Like I said, I intended it to be a little jump and a "ha ha Dad.. nice…" but instead I may have traumatized him for life.

Way to go… Dad...

But sadly, this is not the first time one of my pranks has gone askew. Several years ago, and in my former job, I had a friend that worked for me named Brian. And Brian HATED needles. Just the thought of them would make him queasy and light headed. At the end of March, after years of trying, our co-workers finally convinced him to conquer his fear and donate blood. This was not an easy task for him! It took a lot of doing! By the end of the blood donation, Brian was sick to his stomach, about ready to faint and sick for the rest of the day. His wife had to come drive him home.

Fast forward several days to evil me, wanting to come up with a good April Fools joke for each member of my staff. What better joke to play on Brian that to try to convince him that he had to go through this whole ordeal all over again. My plan was simple.. I was going to have a female friend call him on the phone acting like she was a nurse from the local blood bank. She was to simply tell him that there was a problem with his blood donation (it got lost, the bag broke, etc.) and that in order for him to receive credit for the donation, he'd have to come donate again right away. Then I could watch him go through all that paranoia and annoyance of having to repeat the whole ordeal.

But that's not what happened. As it turns out, my friend playing the nurse on the phone, was not the best actress in the world (no offense, Tracy…) and had a hard time with improv. What ended up coming out of her mouth was "There is a problem with your blood, you need to come down and see us right away!" By the time poor Brian got off the phone, he seriously thought he was dying and just about had a full fledged panic attack on the spot, at the thought of what could be so wrong with his blood that they'd have to call him. Needless to say, when he discovered it was all a joke, he wasn't very happy with me and my little "harmless tricks".

One more…

Years… and years… ago, back in my Ricks College days, I was hanging out with some friends. It was very late at night and I was supposed to be working on a readers theater project with my friends Lori, and Rebecca from the Forensics team. But somehow we got distracted and began the art of evil plotting a fun little prank.

The concept was simple… we'd call my roommate, wake him up, and make him think there had been some crazy, random phone system glitch. When he picked up the phone, he'd suddenly be listening to some random conversation between two strangers. Even as he said "Hello?! Hellllllo?!" he'd suddenly realize that while he could hear the other end of the conversation, they could not hear him. He'd then realize he was privy to a conversation between to unknowing people.

And what was this conversation? My friend Lori played to role of a hysterical baby sitter, who had apparently lost her patience with a baby, shaking it to its death (holy cow… this sounds horrible as I type this… I WAS evil…). Rebecca was the sympathetic friend she had called for advice. Through the tears and the pain of the panicked conversation "What to I do?! Do I call the police?! Should we hide the body and run?" my poor roommate, suddenly had to decide what HE should do? Should he keep listening? Should he hang up and try to forget he ever heard this? Should he call the police, and if he did, what would he tell them? Was this some heavenly intervention through a phone glitch that allowed him to know the truth of a dark secret? Thoughts constantly swirled through his head.

Eventually, he opted to just hang up (after which the 4 of us all busted up laughing, completely oblivious to our traumatizing behavior on others) and in the wee hours of the morning when I finally got home, he was still up and concerned at what he should do. While I don't remember exactly what he did, when he found out it was just a fun little joke, I know that we kept him traumatized for quite some time.

Sure, today is meant to be fun, a day of laughs with our family, friends, and co-workers. But (and I am speaking to myself) let's make sure that the stunts we pull aren't going to do too much future damage to the poor recipients.

Oh, and to the countless hordes of people who have been vowing revenge on me for years for all my various pranks, just know that I am leaving the country this afternoon (Yeah, right).. wont be back for a looooooong time, hopefully after your short-term memory has faded a bit.. Today is about me pranking YOU.. not you getting revenge on me!!!!

Now… Happy April Fools Day!