Ten Down

I can't even believe this one: Ten years ago today, my wife and I were married. TEN YEARS!! I swear, it couldn't have been that long. It feels like it could have been maybe three years, but not TEN. And yet, the facts are the facts.. we officially began our lives together on June 13, 1998, making today our 10th anniversary. Wow!

Since it is our anniversary today, and a nice milestone to reach, it is giving me the opportunity to take stock.. to think back over the last 10 years. They say that marriage can be tough. That is true. It hasn't always been fun and games as two very different people with different upbringings and different personalities work to establish a life together in this day and age. But at the same time, it's been a heck of a lot of fun to have my best friend by my side through the good times and the challenges. We have survived alot, yet we can still smile at each other when something funny happens or Little Calvin does something wacky.

One of the things that is so rewarding in a marriage is learning about another person. You don't REALLY learn about them while dating, you learn over the years, and over the experiences. So that said, here is a list of things that I have learned about my wife.. things that I treasure, along with some fun memories that go along with them, for each year of our marriage.

1999 - My wife is a VERY understanding person. Back when we dated, I warned her that for a little while in 1999, I would become one strange person.. when the first new Star Wars film came out. She agreed to marry me anyway, although I question whether or not she knew what she was getting into exactly. She's not a Star Wars fan. When we got married, she had never even seen any of the Star Wars movies (gasp) so it was a little odd to her that her husband would leave home to camp out in a parking lot for 3 days straight just to get movie tickets.

This was back in the day before advanced ticket sales online. If you wanted tickets to the first showing, you had to wait in line. And so, along with hundreds of other crazy Star Wars fanatics, we waited. I don't remember exactly how I got this role, but to make things more interesting, I somehow became the liaison between the fans and the theater management. If the fans waiting for days on end needed something from the theater management, they came to me to make it happen. And likewise, if management needed anything from the fans, they came to me to see that it happened. That also made me the key contact for the press and so I'd spend a chunk of my days doing interviews with various TV and radio stations.

One radio station after speaking with me, asked an odd question "How's your wife dealing with all of this?" Once they heard that I was a newlywed AND that my wife hadn't even seen the original movies, they decided they had a golden opportunity. Rather than playing the interview with me, they recorded an interview with her.. to get the wife's perspective of her crazy husband. (Click here to hear the interview).

To make a long story short (too late!!) I learned that my wife is one incredibly understanding person. She may not have been able to understand why I was doing what I was doing, in standing in line for 3 days, sleeping in a parking lot, or acting as a leader of the Star Wars geeks, but she knew this was important to me and never questioned me and my sanity. And to me, that is really cool.

2000 - My wife is a VERY patient person. Throughout a good chunk of 2000, my wife was pregnant with Little Calvin and lets just say this was not a fun experience for her. They say that morning sickness goes away after the first trimester. It didn't. In fact, she didn't just have morning sickness, she had all-day everyday sickness. To the point that she had to go to the Doctors office several times a week to get IVs to stay hydrated. Any smell would set her into a fit of sickness, meaning that I could never really cook at home, which made things very challenging. Yet through this long ordeal, I don't remember her complaining about being pregnant. She knew that she was creating a miracle, that it was the right thing to do and that it was part of our creating our family together. And so she patiently waited for that due date to arrive, regardless of what her body was trying to do to her. I know there is no way I could have continued to endure that. And yet she did. I was in awe of her that year and I still am when I remember back as to what she went through.

2001 - My wife is a VERY stubborn person. I know.. some may see that as a negative, but it doesn't have to be. In this case, we began the year investigating the possibility of purchasing our first home. But once we began looking, my wife very quickly decided what she wanted... and she was dead set upon getting it. That meant that several times during the process she had us back out of the current deals. They were leading us down a path she didn't like. In her mind, a decision like buying a home is nowhere to have to settle for something that you don't really want. She felt it would be far better to back out the deals, continue to rent until the right deal with the right home came along. Thanks to that attitude, I found it amazing how much she got for us. By the end, she actually negotiated a deal to have our house built, with all the appliances thrown in, on the lot she wanted, in the neighborhood she wanted and at the price she wanted, even though our builder thought she was nuts. Yet when they said that things couldn't be done and we were just asking for for too much, she'd walk away and they'd come running back with a better deal. Her being stubborn saved us a fortune and got us into a great place where we could have what we needed as a family.

2002 - My wife has the ability to think outside the box. This one is simple.. my wife just thinks of things differently than I do and looks for resources in places I'd never think of. One of my favorite evenings of the year was with our daughter as I took her on a date. To a dance. Now, people that know me, know that me and dancing just don't go together. So this was something I would have never sought out. Yet my wife decided to peruse catalogs of activities that the city was putting on (something that would have never crossed my mind), find a city Father/Daughter dance and encourage me to take Amanda. She helped get us ready and encouraged us to have a great time. And that we did. I surprised myself by attending something I would have never found or thought I'd enjoy. Yet she could see that and was willing to look for opportunities in odd places that created forever memories.

2003 - My wife is very fair. In early 2003, I had to do some work down in the Orlando area for a week. I took advantage of the opportunity and, as a Christmas surprise, gave my wife and Little Calvin tickets to go with me for part of the trip when I had a few free days where we could all go to Disneyworld together. It was a fun trip and insanely inexpensive thanks to frequent flyer miles and my company covering part of my expenses. Yet, due to the timing of the trip Amanda and Tyler, who spend most of their time living with their Mom (my ex-wife) were in school and unable to go with us. Dawn felt bad about that, and worked extra hard that spring putting in a lot of extra hours to work so that there would be money to drive the whole family down to California for Memorial Day weekend so that we could all go to an amusement park together (Great America near San Francisco). It was a big sacrifice and a hectic way to spend a holiday weekend, but she felt it was vital that we do something for the whole family, so we could all have those fun times together.

2004 - My wife is very talented and artistic. I recently covered the whole "painting Little Calvin's wall" into the new Ben 10 theme. But it was in 2004 that she first approached me about turning one whole wall of his room into a mural. To be honest, I was doubtful. I didn't know how it would come out. And yet, she pulled it off and exceeded my expectations. I then learned what a talented person I had married, just wanting her son to have the coolest room around.

2005 - My wife is very sneaky. This also could be thought of as a negative. But it's not. This particular year it was her year to plan our annual anniversary trip and to surprise me with a mysterious weekend away. According to the rules we have established over the years, I wouldn't know when in the year we were going, or where. And she pulled off a great weekend as we visited the San Juan islands in Washington, went on a Killer Whale watching boat trip and had a great time. I just love the look on her face when she shows up at my office and says "Time to go!" It's always fun to watch her pull off that ultimate surprise and the effort she goes through to make it special.

2006 - My wife is very creative. This may seem obvious from our past years, but I was reminded of this trait this year. She decided that she wanted to do something really cool and different from my Mom for her birthday. And rather just go shopping and have it over with, she decided to go ultra-time consuming and make her a quilt that featured artwork and handprints from all the grandkids (not just ours but my sisters kids as well). It took a lot of coordination, a lot of sewing, and the calling in of a lot of favors, as she had never tied a quilt before and needed help. But the end result put my Mom into tears and the quilt has become a great source of comfort. See the quilt here >>

2007 - My wife has the sweetest smile. Although I blogged about this ordeal last year, my wife did break her arm back in March of this year while I was on an early morning flight back from the Indiana office. When I arrived in Portland my cell phone rang with the news. Once back in Eugene, I rushed to the ER to see what was going on. The Doctors had just finished reseting her arm through some medieval torture device and she was doped up on some fantastic pain killers. But she still opened her eyes and gave me her little "I'm ok" smile that I just depend on during moments of stress. It taught me that even when going through some terrible ordeal, once I am with her, she will be ok. Who knows, maybe it was the drugs... but to me, she was comforted in seeing me and that just makes a husband feel good. Her smile is priceless to me!

2008 - My wife is very frugal. Yet again, could be considered to be a negative, but this skills helps us out a lot and has saved us a ton! Last summer, my Dad and I decided we'd pursue a different kind of family vacation for 2008 and we began looking into getting the ENTIRE family down to Orlando this coming summer so that we can all go to Disneyworld together. This would be a HUGE undertaking both for scheduling and for finances. Last Christmas we announced to the family our intentions and once Dawn heard our plan, she went straight to work, not in taking a normal approach to the vacation, but taking the "less expensive" route. Thanks to her passion we may be saving thousands when we leave next week thanks to her finding great deals on a rental house for everyone, cheap rental cars and food planning so that we don't have to spend a small fortune on park food. It is this attitude that has allowed us to do a lot of traveling together over the last 10 years, or make some "fun" purchases that we may not have been able to make if I was doing all the planning.

So.. any single guys out there, if you are looking for a smart, understanding, patient, stubborn, artistic, sneaky, fair, talented, frugal, with the sweetest smile and the ability to think outside the box, that girl does exist, but she is taken. So.. you're out of luck! And to my wife.. Happy Anniversary. Thanks for many great memories, for being my best friend, and for putting up with me as a husband. Here's to many, many more!