This may very well be a common concern to parents, but I sometimes wonder about Tanner and his view on death. Now sure, I understand.. the kid is only 5. But there just seems to be so much exposure to the concept everywhere in society, that I worry it becomes almost.. comical. After watching him process all of the Star Wars movies and the deaths of countless troops there, to the occasional Buff the Vampire Slayer episodes that my wife loves to watch, to even Saturday morning cartoons... people are dying everywhere.
I notice in his playing and imagination times.. running through the house at top speed, light saber in hand (which turned into a pretend broom this weekend after watching Harry Potter) battling all kinds of movie baddies, he refers to all kinds of death as if it is nothing. I think the "plane story" below in my "Raising a.. Calvin" entry illustrates this as well. A few weeks ago, we had one of our long time fish die from our big acquarium. I thought "finally.. maybe he'll start putting things together". But no... He excitedly grabbed the net to watch his older brother "flush him!". Again, I know he's 5.. I know he's a little Calvin with an overactive imagination, but it still concerned me that I was raising a child who thought that other people or creatures were simply and easily disposed of. In a world of Kip Kinkels, who seem to have no regard for human life, I wanted to be raising my kids with a sense of right and wrong.
Then came yesterday.. when I realized things were starting to click.. and I suddenly felt bad for kids struggling to comprehend reality for the first time. About a month ago he got his first "real pets" (the fish don't count). Pets that he could enjoy, play with, and interact with. Every night he pulls out his little gerbils and has a ball, the front room "excersize pen" becoming quite the little gerbil playground. But a week ago, the "smart one" who is so full of energy, who runs a marathon every night on the gerbil wheel (making all kinds of noise in the process), suddenly stopped running. He just ran out of gas and would sit in his cage doing nothing. By the end of the week, we realized there was a problem and that Max was no longer a healthy gerbil. He lost almost all his weight, never really moved and never opened his eyes.
Yesterday, Max finally got to the Vet. Tanner insisted he accompany his pet to the doctor as he was very concerned. The vet couldn't really figure out what was going on, but thought that there may be some internal problems to the animal as his partner in crime, Vader, was staying perfectly healthy. They offered to do tests for about $250, but for a $9 gerbil, we declined and got some advice as to how to potentially bring him back to a healthy life, even though they feat he may be also loosing his eye sight. That's when my wife took tanner aside and told him he needed to understand that the doctor may not be able to make Max better.. the doctors sometimes can't fix everything, but that we'd do the best we could to keep him comfortable.
Now, after all the random death of storm troopers and cartoons, now.. he could connect.. and while I wasn't there to witness it, according to my wife, the thought of his little pet not getting fixed by the doctor broke him. That's when the biggie tears came, not the little whiny "oops, I scratched my knee" tears, but GIANT wet tears poured. It took a few minutes for him to calm down, he called me on my phone to report in and let me know he was ok. But watching him go through this sudden realization of the realities of life, broke my wife's heart too.
But there is good news.. for the time being Max is still with us. He actually opened up one eye (a little) last night. He is starting to drink water again after being severely dehydrated. It may not fix the internal problems or the potential blindness. But for now, Max is still Max, and we just have to wait for the day that the realities REALLY sink in.. but such is the nature of owning pets and the life lessons they bring to us.
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