Losing My Mind: The Film Edition

Am I a glutton for punishment? Do I thrive in chaos? Do I take on insane challenges, just to see if I can do them. Somehow... I think so!

Tonight I realized it has been almost 3 months since completing my first full length documentary film titled "Spartans". I have done many video projects in the past, trying to improve my skills with each new production. But this was the first time I had set out specifically to shoot, edit and produce a 90 minute film... on budget... and on time.

Work on the film began last July, doing all my preparatory pre-production and planning. Photography begin in late August and continued for 13 weeks through mid-November. Then editing and post production carried me into December with the first public showing taking place on December 15th.

It was a whirlwind, insane couple of months. Amongst the challenges I faced was the simple fact that this film had absolutely nothing to do with my normal job, a job that already demands typically 45 hours a week at a minimum. So all shooting would have to be done in the evenings, on weekends, or on creatively scheduled lunch breaks. There was also my family to consider, I couldn't suddenly become an absentee parent and ignore the needs of my wife and 3 kids. So finding time to pull this off was a huge challenge.

There were technical demands as well. Where do you store 30 plus hours of raw video footage and still have space to edit without crashing computers? How do your successfully pace a 90 minute film? Where does the music come from? And what happens if something goes wrong and an audience is waiting for a film still stuck in edit? As you can tell, there was a lot on my mind!

By the time mid December hit, I was toast! Pulling this film off just about killed me... quite literally. During the final week of editing, I got 2 hours of sleep in a 72 hour period. I spent 48 hours straight awake trying to get the final cut done in time for the first public showing. I remember arriving at that showing film in hand, everything around me slightly spinning. I stayed awake during the showing (I was concerned that once the lights went out and I stopped moving, I'd zonk) running totally off the adrenaline of seeing the film with an audience for the first time and watching their reactions. After making the drive home, all I wanted to do was pass out on the couch and sleep for days, but I knew I couldn't. The DVDs still had to be authored, packaging still had to be designed in order to make printing deadlines. And so you just take a breath, and continue to push onward. (Eventually, my body did shut down, by the way. My wife had the wonderful opportunity to rush me to the Dr's office when we should have been celebrating her birthday, as I had a 104 degree fever, and I got to spend Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day quarantined away from my family with the flu. bummer!)

But in the end... I pulled it off. I don't want today's blog to be about bragging about this accomplishment, although I am darn proud of the final results. The point of today's blog is the fact that now, it's mid March. I have been done with this insanity for 3 months. You would think I would be able to just come home and rest.. relax, kick my feet up in the recliner and turn my brain off. You would think that after going through all of THAT, I'd want to take a giant break or never go near it again. But, no... what do I do? I sit and contemplate the next production. I find myself making the mental lists of things that will need to be done in August, already searching out music possibilities, mentally planning out sequences and specific shots I want to get. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO STOP!!

So maybe I do thrive on the pure chaos of the challenges I put on myself. I hear people dreaming about a life of luxury, sitting below the palm trees, drink in hand with no worries. There are the people who win the lottery and quit their jobs in an attempt to find happiness. But while that may appeal for a short escape, I think my happiness is found in the insanity. Some just love to curl up to a good book. I seem to be happiest and content running 90 miles an hour with a camera on my shoulder, watching life through a camera lens.

It's like those old Charlie Brown comics I remember reading as a kid "Happiness is... a camera on my shoulder". This last film almost killed me.. it was the craziest challenges I have ever undertaken..

Now, how soon until I can start again?